This evening we were at a dinner party with my in-laws and, as is not uncommon at such events, various topics of conversation swirled around the table.  The subjects ranged from what defines moonshine to the finer points on making a successful risotto.  Among the non sequitur  topics my sister-in-law brought up a story involving a song – Dream Weaver – which naturally rolled into a conversation about who sung it.  Unfortunately no one at the table actually knew, but several hazarded off-based guesses.  My natural inclination was to whip out my iPhone and Google it, but I resisted being ‘that guy’.  As the conversation wound down and slowly morphed on, I had noted that it would simple enough to find the information online.  My wife responds with “Don’t you have your iPhone right in your pocket?”  So in the end I conceded and was ‘that guy – I AM ‘that guy’.  There is little point in trying to evade it.

Unfortunately my sister-in-law seems to live in one of those clear areas so frequently seen in Verizon’s advertisements as of late on AT&T’s 3G coverage.  So the information remained tenuous (it was Gary Wright, by the way – I’m also that guy who will keep things like that in his head to look into at a more opportune time).  But my reputation as a trivia nut precedes me.  I guess I should expect as much – I’ve never hid it well (who do you think ended up spewing information on what defined moonshine when it came up).

• For as long as can remember, my father has quested to top himself each year with his Christmas gifts for my mother – always looking to get her some new gadget or equipment that she would have never realized she always wanted. Sometimes he has succeeded, but often the hype in his head is greater than the real reaction. He has also always had a trend of uniquely labeling his gifts to her (e.g., From: XY/To: XX). To these, my mother has always had a positive reaction (even when they were bordering on inappropriate).
  Moral: Sometimes the giving is more important than the gift.
• Both my father and my sister have always been very ‘tell it like it is’ types of people … but in slightly different ways. My dad in such that he does not sugar-coat much of anything (except perhaps in his business – he IS a salesman after all). My sister in such that should tends to be very curtly honest to the extent that she doesn’t always know what she shouldn’t likely be straight with people about. On more than one occasion this combination led to someone being offended by something that my dad probably shouldn’t have said around my sister and that my sister definitely shouldn’t have relayed on to the subject matter.
  Moral: Whenever opening your mouth, beware of feet.
• Growing up, I saw my father primarily on the weekends. When my wife and I first were seriously dating, I ended up moving in with her and her family for a year – I didn’t see her father for the first 3 months I was there. With my dad, I know how he felt about the situation because when he was home he tried to make up for the time he wasn’t. Now I’ve got 2 kids of my own and I find myself working long hours on occasion when I’d rather be at home with them.
  Moral: If you don’t understand work-life balance, don’t expect your kids to get it either.

I can’t claim to have it all worked out – I don’t even always get these things right a lot of the time. But the foundation is there leading my intentions (and hopefully leading my actions more often than not).

1. Hedge Case:  This one I have to admit is my own (edge case being the valid phrase referring to scenarios that would happen very infrequently).  In my defense, I think it makes sense on its own – such rare happenstances make up the periphery of the majority (much like a hedge around the yard).  Maybe not.
2. Defiantly:  Granted this is a real word and has its place … but not as a substitute for the word definitely.  My suspicion is that the co-worker who often uses this in his emails has been getting screwed by his own spell checker.  I think he is likely typing definately which Outlook decidedly thinks is more similar to the topical misnomer than the intended adverb.
3. Gambit:  Working in a development department, testing is inevitable.  But not matter how many times it comes up, ‘I’ll run it through the whole gamut of test cases’ is never what seems to come out of people’s mouths.
4. Raft/Rash of Shit:  To be honest, I don’t even know which of these is right – I’ve heard it both ways and I’ve attempted to research it to declare a clear winner, but to know avail.  I cannot find a reliable source and either argument is an equally supportable.
5. For All Intensive Purposes:  This also is a phrase that I know I’ve used but have since learned otherwise (in case you were not aware, it should be ‘for all intents and purposes’).  But it is hard not to say it the wrong way – it rolls off the tongue more easily and few people fault you for the error.

Feel free to share your favorite misuses of words or phrases.  And for additional fun, check out this old FedEx commercial (this topic always reminds me of this):

The reason for this is simple:  I AM alone.  From basement to attic, the current head count in my house is one (counting me).  This has been the population peak since Monday afternoon and will not likely be surpassed again until Saturday night.  Why, you ask?  My family has taken to the road.

On Monday, after my daughter’s pre-school session ended, my wife picked her up with the new car (a Mazda 5) fully packed including our 2-year-old son and headed straight for the highway bound for North Carolina.   They are down there now visiting with my parents and my sister and her family (yes – my wife DID voluntarily take two rambunctious pre-schoolers on a 10-hour road trip to visit her in-laws – wonders never cease).  I’m somewhat surprised that in her current role as CDO (Chief Domicile Officer), she hasn’t taken more sans-père excursions.  Though I suspect the factors of the car and my son’s day-by-day degrees of decreasingly dreadful decorum must have swung momentum towards such activities being less traumatic than they would have been mere weeks ago.

I’m glad that they went.  Okay, let me rephrase that – I’m happy that they had taken advantage of such an opportunity and it is going positively for them.  Sure I miss them and wish I could have joined.  But work is busy and I’m making the most of the situation (and by most, I mean I’m doing the least I possibly can).  It is pleasant having some freedoms I’d grown accustomed to not having:  such as the freedom to watch a show when it is on without interuptions; the freedom to come and go on without having to wait for or coordinate efforts with anyone; the freedom to sleep with the door open (bedroom door, that is); the freedom to say yes to off-hours plans without consulting anyone.  I’d classify these new freedoms as a mix of refreshing and disorienting.  And I’m sure upon their return I will be feeling the a similar mix adjusting back to normal life.

As I am now thinking about it, though I’ve always been a fairly independent person I’ve never really been on my own for any length of time.  I’ve never lived alone and I’ve only been single for brief stints since I got into the dating scene back in high school.  While I feel like I could do it if life took me that way, I wouldn’t want to.  A house isn’t really a home without an array of personalities.  And my family exhudes color into this home when they are here.  I am enjoying the peace and quiet, but I won’t miss it when it is gone.

So where am I?  Where am I headed?  Where have I been?  Let’s tackle these one area at a time.  And since I seem to spend a lot of time there, let’s start with work.  I’m actually very happy with my job – moreso than I can recall ever having been with any other job.  Prior to this one, the longest I’ve been with a job is 3 years.  And with most the honeymoon felt like it was over within the first one (sometimes sooner).  I am only 2 1/2 years into my current tenure, but this job feels much different than 2 years into any other job.  I work with good people that I respect and enjoy.  I have respect and recognition in my own work.  And I do something that I enjoy doing and keeps me excited and challenged.  I can’t say that I’m soaring up the rungs to becoming someone huge and important, but I’m really not an ambitious person – my family is more important to me than my career and my job fits that just fine.

Speaking of my family, my daughter is only about 6 months from starting Kindergarten.  A colleague that I’ve been growing closer to also has a son who is starting next Fall, but he is planning to send his son to a private school.  I feel like something about that should bother me, but it really doesn’t.  If that is what he wants for his children, more power to him.  I personally am perfectly content to sed my kids to public school (after all, it is a lot cheaper).  Ten years ago, I might have gotten into a discussion with him over it to see if he really thinks it is worth the money (I often enjoyed playing devil’s advocate in such scenarios).  Maybe it is a change in perspective that comes with age.  Why argue over who’s right?  Can’t we both be right?

Another thing that I would have argued with some about a decade ago would be religion.  I was raised with a split religious background.  And by split I mean that my mother was an evangelical baptist and my father was diametrically opposed to church in general.  By grade school I was “saved”.  By high school I was a church youth group regular (to be honest, there were cute girls there).  And by college I had a number of doubts that could not be abated by theologic discussion.  For a while I became a lot like my dad – I felt like organized religion was a lie and didn’t want any part of it.  I would use my doubts to question others on the merits of their own faith (for that I have some regret).  By now, I still feel strongly that religion is a placebo that has no place in my life, but I have no problem with those who choose to make it a part of theirs.  Who am I to tell others how to live?

I think what surprises me most about where I’ve come to arrive in life is the perspectives of others about me.  I grew up with a lot of doubt and a severe lack of confidence.  It took me a long time to really come out of my shell.  And yet I get the impression from some of those who know me now who never knew me when I was younger that the expect I was born confident and sarcastic.  I’ve actually found myself advising myself to be less forward and direct as I have to be conscious of how I may affect the confidence of others.  Funny how life works sometimes.

So with all this, I feel like I’m finally hitting my stride in life.  I can’t say that I have all the answers.  I’m certainly not sitting pretty (I’ve got plenty of debts and plenty more things I need to try to afford).  But I like who I am, where I am, and where things are headed.  I like what I do, I love my family (and they seem to love me), and I feel like I’ve got traction to keep the momentum going.  Now to figure out what specific things I need to tackle next.  I think the first thing on my list is a new family car.  Any suggestions?