As I was watching the Eagles game the other night, I became aware that at one point in NFL history the Eagles and the Steelers had merged (a team-up informally known as the Steagles).  Upon looking up this event in history, I came to find that this corresponded to World War II and was due to many of the players volunteering to join the service and fight instead of stick around and play games.  Such patriotic actions also greatly impacted baseball – a much more prominently appreciated sport at the time.  And players who couldn’t serve for medical reasons were often looked down upon.  Yet today such uniform patriotism no longer seems prevalent and few are judged as being un-American for not wanting to serve in the armed forces – wartime or not.

Perhaps it was the questionable engagements of the 60′s and 70′s that lead us to our loss of innocence.  Maybe the war games of the 80′s made us more skeptical and cynical regarding our government’s military decision-making.  Surely the recent series of questionable maneuvers have subdued our appetite to join the fray.  But I have doubts that one or several changes in administration will wash away this new mentality.  I think that the American people may have grown up, and the zeal we once had to be all we could be may be, at least as a collective mindset, an experience that is permanently in our past.  We know that struggles will continue and we still have respect for our great nation, but we may never again look forward to taking on the evils of the world in the name of God and country.

This is not to say that American patriotism is dead, but rather that it has evolved.  Much like we grow past the cake and party favors we clung to as children, we are learning that loving our nation isn’t so black and white.  We can show our respect without being compelled to be on the front lines.

Perhaps I’m wrong – perhaps my own cynicism is too deep for me to see the forest through the trees.  Maybe a time WILL come when we, as a nation, will face a struggle that will compels us to a greater unified purpose.  But it isn’t where we are today … which seems perfectly fine to me – hell, I think it makes me love this country even more.

I’m not depressed or worried about our CTO’s departure (whom I will refer to as K from now on).  Sure K was a great guy and was fun to work for, sure he knew more about the inner workings of our technology than any individual in the company, and sure he seemed to be the only one who had the vision to shape what projects we worked on next, but this change does not mean doom.  Those of us left know what we are doing and have our own ideas – we can keep it going without a doubt (assuming the production side of things doesn’t fall apart – economy stagnating and all).  And it isn’t like we won’t be without leadership.  The top five tech. managers have been training up for 2 months now and are prepared to run the show until our new CTO takes the helm in a few weeks.  And he seems like a good guy and that he will mesh well.

So why the funk?  I guess because it feels like an end of an era.  I guess because it is the kind of transition where I’m not busy with or part of the transition.  And I guess some of it is that the shift is somewhat palpable in the office.  Last year at halloween, we had a decorating contest as well as a costume contest and the office looked festive and almost everyone dressed up.  This year we skipped the decorating contest and, though we do have a costume contest, almost no one dressed up.  So things are different.

I’m sure I’ll be fine – probably as soon as I’m done writing this I’ll move on to something else and forget about this mood altogether.  There are plenty of things that I’m happy about in my life and plenty to look forward to.  So the future is bright. I just have to move on.

P.S.
There were awards given out at a happy hour at my office the other night, but I didn’t stick around for it and apparently missed out on one for me.  As it turns out I got nominated for one for “getting shit done and just being Ben”.  And as it turns out that nomination came from K.  Thanks K.

I have never been strongly into sports.  I watch the Eagles play as often as I can.  I’ll watch the Sixers when they are playing well (as in actually in a playoff series).  But I have not watched the Phillies rise this season and even though they are now playing in the World Series, I still can’t bring myself to be overly excited about it.  I tried to watch game 1 and ended up spending half the game working on my laptop and watching shows I’d missed on Hulu.  Game 2 I didn’t even attempt to watch – I switched to it to check the score during commercial breaks in the shows I watched instead.  I will likely watch the remaining games in the same fashion.

It isn’t that I don’t like the sport – I have a lot of respect for the skill of these players.  It isn’t easy to throw, hit or catch a ball at the speeds these players need to.  But to watch baseball holds no interest to me.  In the course of a single game, there could potentially be between 200 and 300 pitches.  At the speeds they are thrown, that equates to about 2 to 3 minutes of balls actually flying through the air towards the catcher.  The remaining hours of baseball is mostly strategic postering until someone hits a ball.  So while I do appreciate and respect the skill of the game, I can’t bring myself to watch it for any length of time.

So the Phillies made it to the World Series – awesome!  The Rays can suck it!  Now let’s see what else there is to watch.

Generally I will buffer some time before plopping on the couch so that I can skip the commercials.  But if I’m scanning through or have run out of buffer, if there is a spot for Chuck or Heroes, it is just as exciting as anything else I could be watching.  The writer’s strike really left me unsatiated with last season’s run – not enough episodes, not knowing even when to catch new ones, etc.  Don’t get me wrong – I was for the strike and I’m glad they worked things out.  But I need me some good TV!

In recent years, it seems that NBC has captured my attention with new shows more than any other network.  I enjoy a couple of shows on ABC and Fox and the CW.  I watch a few things on cable (such as Psych on USA and It’s Always Sunny on FX).  But last season i found myself watching 3 hour blocks on some nights on NBC.  And I’m psyched to see so many of the shows I enjoyed coming back – Chuck, Heroes, Life, The Office, 30 Rock.  I’m also intrigued by some of the new blood (somewhat by My Own Worst Enemy, not as much about Knight Rider).

Yes, I know – I’m a TV junkie.  I am addicted to staged drama and comedy.  I practice escapism for a large portion of my free time.  But at least I haven’t succumbed to the dark side – at least I haven’t become a reality TV fan – that would just be too far, too much … well … except the Olympics.  But that doesn’t really count, right?

Fast forward 5 years later, we have 2 kids – a 4 1/2 year-old girl and a 1 1/2 year old boy … and they managed to find their own way into fairly typical gender roles.  My daughter loves the color pink, playing dress-up, dolls, and tea party.  My son is a small tornado of what can only be described as boyish energy – he throws things, he bangs on things, and he will scale just about anything for the purpose of jumping off of it.  And now, he is focusing his attention on balls … the sports varieties, that is.  And I have to say he is pretty good at handling them (again, think sports … weirdos).

The other day we were in the backyard cleaning up after a BBQ party we had and he came across a small football that someone left behind.  He picks it up, takes it back over his shoulder with one hand, and launches it halfway across the yard to my wife.  She tosses it back and he manages to reproduce the feat a good dozen times or so before he decides to start throwing it to me instead and makes me run to catch it.  The whole thing devolves into touchdown dances on our patio before we finish up our cleaning task and head inside.  Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself pegging him as a future quarterback, but who am I to stand in the way of talent if it is there.

Since then, though, he has taken to another sport – soccer.  He decided to start kicking around a soccer ball in the living room.  And wouldn’t you know, he kicked the ball a good 12 feet across the room to my wife some 20 times or so with surprising precision before our little princess decided she wanted a turn at the ball.  If they both want to play soccer, I have no problem with that.  But I don’t think I’m being prejudiced in thinking that my son will likely prove to be more impressive to watch.

So here I am, a father who would have been happy having all girls so as to avoid these issues:  Who am I, a man who has never played or had aptitude in any sport, to raise an athlete?  Will I lack the proper enthusiasm or appreciation to push my son to be the kind of athlete he has the potential to be?  While I’m not really losing sleep over the matter, I do have concerns – how much do I encourage; how much pressure is too much … or not enough?  Or am I just getting way too ahead of myself?