The bumps and potholes in the road of parenthood are many and often unexpected. And when things are suddenly moving smoothly in the right direction, derailment should not be surprising when it comes. The trouble is that it is a constant struggle to exert order onto something that is innately chaotic.
Bedtime routines with my children have never been easy. My daughter has been difficult in this area since birth. She was a colicky baby, she slept lightly when she did settle so we used nose-makers with her until she was 3, and until she was 2 1/2, putting her to bed usually took at least 45 minutes to an hour (this is not counting prep time – this is sitting in the room waiting for her to settle down). If the one of us that was in there with her left before she was asleep, she would cry and would take twice as long to settle as she assumed we would try to leave again. When my son was born, she started to get better and the whining got replaced with bargaining (“can I have one more story?”, “can I have a drink of water?”, etc.). She still bargains a bit, but has learned what we will and won’t allow so it has gotten easier.
My son is now 2 and he has never been as difficult. He would typically settle quickly and without much fuss and for a past few months it has literally been as simple as putting him down with his blankie, turning off the light and leaving the room. That was until we went away for a week.
It should come as no surprise that he was harder to settle down in a strange environment, nor that it was twice as hard to get both kids to settle in the same room. But in the weeks since we’ve been back, he hasn’t let go of the skittishness he had when we were away. So we are now stuck in the same routine with him that we had with our daughter at this age (one we had thought we managed to skirt past).
So as I sit here writing, my wife is patiently waiting for him to fall asleep so that she can sneak out of his room (we take turns). Hopefully in the weeks to come this will taper off and we can restore order to things, but only time will tell.