My wife recently had an interesting post on her blog that I found myself rereading, and I feel the need to address the topic from a male perspective. To sum up, the issue at hand was women in business and the use or their “femininity” to get their feet in the door. My wife, being a modern, down-to-earth feminist, found this concept insulting and degrading (as did numerous commenters to her post) since talent and merit should stand independent of gender. And I agree with her. But working in the world (and happening to be a guy), I felt like throwing in my two cents on the topic.
First important point – women as sex objects: As a warm-blooded male, I have to concede that yes – I look at women as objects of sexual desire. But this is a purely gutteral and instinctual assessment that I personally do not allow to cloud my judgment of anything else that comes from any such subject. And while not being telelpathic, I doubt many of my male colleagues do either to any great extent. Sure, I work with single men and women and the single guys I work with occasionally will consider “their chances” with this or that female co-worker. But any such interactions, positive or negative, don’t seem to affect their working relationships. In short, there would be something wrong with a guy if he didn’t think about whether a woman was sexually attractive or not. But very few (if any) of the people that I’ve worked with or for have treated women differently professionally as a result.
Second – looks vs. smarts: I’d be lying if I said I’ve never suggested we look for more “talent” in our recruiting efforts – again, I’m a guy. But such comments were always given (and as far as I was aware, taken) as jokes. Working in a relatively young company, there are plenty of young women (of both the attractive and … nice varieties) around me with which I must maintain a professional relationship. But my respect for any of these women is strictly based on real smarts and ability in their roles. And while I know many of my male colleagues might strive to work with the cute ladies, I can think of few guys that I work with who would discriminate against a woman who had a good head on her shoulders simply based on looks. And there are very few women that I’ve ever worked with who were pretty without smarts – in the few cases there were, they didn’t last.
So, to sum up – yes, I admit that I’m part pig. But that piggishness only goes as far as enjoying the scenery. I’m happily married (at least so far – my wife hasn’t read this yet) and I don’t allow such fleeting hormonal reactions to cloud my long-term judgment of people. When you work with people, it is and should be about being able to work with those people. And in my experience, there are only so many jobs in the world where looks are a viable asset, and most of them don’t necessarily require smarts. Most jobs in the real world do require the latter (in some form), and I’ve seen little evidence to support the former playing a strong factor.