Tag: my wife

You and Me and Your Brother Makes Three

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It seems that it will be a mom-free weekend.  Starting tomorrow morning through Sunday it will be just me, Cricket, and Grasshopper fending for ourselves.  I’m not actually particularly concerned.  I’m not one of those passive working dad’s who defers the majority of parenting to the matron of the house.  I even cook sometimes (mostly on the grill, but not exclusively).  So I’m sure we will survive …. hopefully.

My wife will be departing early tomorrow morning on a trek to NYC for a blogging conference (in case you weren’t aware, she has not one, but two blogs that she likely updates more often than I do: Down to Earth Mama and She Acts).  She will be whooping it up in the Big Apple for the weekend with blog-related discussions and parties.  Not that I would worry for the sanctity of our marriage regardless of the nature of the conference, but being that she will be surrounded mostly by female bloggers, the most that will likely happen is some all-girl drunken music videography (it’s happened).  I guess there is a sliver of the possibility she might get swept into an overzealous celebration of the repeal of Prop. 8, but I’m not overly concerned.  What hyjinx will ensue are likely to be of a much more tame and innocent variety of which she greatly deserves.

Anyway, besides regularly scheduled events of the weekend (of which there are surprisingly many) I have very little in mind for our sans matronus weekend.  As it stands, I have to take them to swimming lessons, the farmer’s market, a family reunion, and potentially a free movie screening (and probably some other events that my wife will point out that I forgot to mention and therefore will not remember to do).  So outside of meals there is limited bandwidth for other events.  But I may try to fit in some shopping and some other entertainment where I can – perhaps even some fruit picking if time and weather permit.

My biggest concern is that I’m going to be plagued with work issues that try to follow me home.  I’m slowly working to have more redundancy and less direct dependency for certain things, but the curse of being good at certain things is that you are the only one who can handle them – I’m not playing arrogant here, it is simple fact.  But I’m training a new guy to be the next me, and trying to leave no issues up in the air so that I can make the most of a wife-free and hopefully work-free weekend.

A Wedding and a Birth

SilentBen3 Comments

After years of trying and months of incubation, my wife’s photography business finally bloomed past its fetal development stage and into a living breathing entity.  It will still take some a good while of feeding it and caring for it and giving it a lot of nurturing and attention before it will be completely up on its own feet, but it is getting there – mostly thanks to her cousin’s wedding.

My wife has been taking on both casual and paying engagements for a couple years now, as well as plenty of practice both at home and out and about, with the intent of getting such a business effort going.  But to shoots so far have mostly been with a few couples or small families and have been too spread out and too discounted to really be called a successful business.  But with the help of a new website launched for her business (designed by yours truly) and a full wedding shoot now under her belt, not only has her confidence shot up, but so have her requests for business.

So now comes the next phase – the building phase.  Mostly likely any money that she makes for the next 6 months or so (and possible some of my money as well) will go towards equipment investments.  She rented a Nikon D300 for the wedding and wielded it well, but the D70 that she owns isn’t going to server her well for much longer except as a backup – she will need a better primary, a few more lenses, a good flash, and a more powerful computer to really manage the business well in the long run.  The tough part is convincing her to spend the money (she is incredibly frugal).  I’ll just have to get some good bonuses to use to buy in as an investor.  😉

So support her by checking out her new site (http://www.corinafiorephotography.com), and drop her a note to tell her what you think of her pictures.  And if you live in the area and have a need for a photographer, consider contacting her for a shoot (I know – shameless plug, but worth it).

Temporarily Single Dad

SilentBen2 Comments

For the past 5 days, I’ve been Mr. Mom.  My wife went away to a blogging conference in Asheville, NC and left me in charge of managing our 2 kids.  Being actively involved with my kids on a regular basis, this was not a daunting task, per se.  The hard part was not paying attention to work for that period of time – especially since my shine, new iPhone would chirp every few minutes telling me I have some new email to read.  But eventually I turned off that notification and got to the serious business of responsibly entertaining my posse.

First priority – getting them to school on time.  Grasshopper only just started going to daycare (2 days a week) and already being without his Mommy, he was very reluctant to go (though apparently his tears ended within minutes of Cricket and I leaving him there).  Cricket just started Kindergarten this year and has been loving every minute of it, but with the possibility of being able to stay home and play Lego Star Wars with Daddy she suddenly was on the fence about going as well.  But I got them there, they did there time, and got them safely home (all perfectly according to schedule).  But outside of that, it was play time – we went to the park almost every day, we went to a play place for the better part of one cloudy afternoon, and we spent a fair share of time watching a couple of movies and playing Lego Star Wars.

By the end of the long weekend, I was ready for reinforcements.  I love my kids, but I can only be jumped on so many times before needing to tag out.  I only took advantage of the in-laws once for a break (which I spent cleaning).  And I actually made semi-nutritious meals for them for all but 2 meals (pancakes are good for you, right?).  So all in all I think I did okay.  And today it was back to work … to deal with my other batch of kids.  Maybe I should go to a conference.

P.S. – Mywife (who now has 2 blogs) went to a blogging conference, but didn’t post anything the entire time.  Ironic.

33 Flavors and Then Some

SilentBen3 Comments

To my lovely wife on her birthday (yes you):

  1. You are a strict realist – a difficult quality to find these days.
  2. You remind me every day how important it is to express enthusiasm (something I’ve never been good at.
  3. I may not express this often, but you are a shadow in my conscience – I often will hit a gray area at work where I think about how you would handle the situation (then I remove the ass-handing part and do the rest).
  4. You have put up with more of my shit than you deserve.
  5. You understand the difference between emotional response and character.
  6. You don’t put up with nonsense (except the good kind … and some of mine).
  7. You have talents you have yet to cultivate and sharper faculties than you give yourself credit for.
  8. You never forget anything important (except where you put things).
  9. You are the best friend anyone could want – you are great in good times, and even better in bad.
  10. You have an electric smile.
  11. You have eyes that betray more confidence than you believe yourself to possess.
  12. You are independent.
  13. You are dependable.
  14. You are blunt and often sarcastic.
  15. You always know what to say to people.
  16. You could win any argument in which you engage – I have no doubt.
  17. You amaze me with your ability to teach someone something without giving them a single answer.
  18. You also amaze me in your ability to set pasta on fire – it is a rare talent.
  19. You could probably make a Thanksgiving dinner with your eyes closed.
  20. If there was one thing about you that I first fell in love with, it was probably your sense of humor.
  21. You understand that two people can disagree without being at odds (more rare than it should be).
  22. You can curse like a sailor.
  23. You have more tact than anyone I know.
  24. You have a zany streak that I plan to enjoy until we are old and gray.
  25. You don’t care about shoes, designer clothes, or hair products (that’s a good thing).
  26. You have a respectable appreciation for football.
  27. If you decided to go get an office job, I have no doubt you would ace any interview.  But you’d hate working in an office – they are highly unproductive and inefficient places.  You’d go mad.
  28. Because of you, our children are happier, smarter, and more well-rounded than I’d have expected them to be or than I could have accomplished on my own.
  29. You are self-sacrificing (you need to cut back on that, by the way).
  30. I have had and will always have respect for your opinions and wisdom.
  31. No matter how stressed we’ve gotten or divided we’ve found ourselves on issues, I’ve never felt disrespected or unappreciated.
  32. You may recognize that the song I paraphrased for the title of this post is off by one digit, but you are not the type of person to point that out (though I am).
  33. You may refer back to this list every so often to remind yourself of some of these great things about you, but I will never have to – you’ve made an indelible  impression on me and I thank you for it.

There are hundreds of other things that I love about you – many nuances and qualities of your character.  I hope that this short list at least brings a smile to your face on your birthday.  We all miss you at home and hope you enjoy your 33rd without us.

With love from your boob of a husband,

SilentBen

(I hope this is flattering enough that she doesn’t notice that I didn’t get her a gift … yet.)

Happy Anniversary to my Down-to-Earth Bride

SilentBen2 Comments

Rise and shine – it is the dawn of a new day!  At least the sun is technically on its way up.  I’d like to have slept later, but my 2-year-old son scrambling up the stairs to my room prevent that from happening … much like my responsibilities 12 years ago.  I had to be up at the crack of dawn to drive all the way to the church to drop off the license and stop at the soon-to-be-in-laws to drop something off for my fiancee before heading out with the guys to get our tuxes.  Upon returning to my apartment (almost all my groomsmen slept at my place), I have to practically jump on each of them to get them into gear … much as my son is now jumping on me – but only long enough to get over me and snuggle in-between my wife and I.  He is all smiles and fully recharged ready to take on the world.  We take him downstairs and get him some milk and something to eat and veg out on the couch while he watches a show with breakfast.

Later, his 5-year-old sister makes her way out of her room and downstairs to join us.  Before she reaches the bottom there are already a series of questions such as ‘What is he watching?’, ‘Did he eat breakfast yet?’, ‘Do I have school today?’.  I’m barely awake and she is already in a rush to figure out what the day is going to bring … 12 years earlier I’m rushing – rushing from the mall to make it to the church on time.  I get there and get dressed in time to greet a few people arriving early only to be nearly knocked off the sidewalk by my future in-laws pulling up barking for me to get inside as the bride is almost here (which is odd since it is at least a half-hour until the wedding is supposed to start).  So I and my second head inside and are cloistered to the priest’s office adjacent to the alter – as I jog up the aisle to get there, I notice the table in front of the alter has a tapestry hanging from it with a fish in the middle.  While waiting impatiently in the office, the weight of this day starts to hit me … now the weight of my son sitting on my chest starts to wear on my patience so I suggest some breakfast and get to making something (though mostly a mess).

After an enjoyable breakfast (with its share of distractions and escape attempts) and some much needed coffee, my wife and I start thinking about what we should do … I do – that is what I plan to say, what I’ve been waiting to say.  And now with that moment just moments away I start to clam up a bit.  As I work on focusing myself, I remind myself that I’m not afraid of the marriage – I’m looking forward to that – but the wedding.  I’m marrying my best friend and confidante.  The anxiety and fear I feel are all about going out there in front of some 100+ people and trying to make it through an hour(ish) of loosely rehearsed ritual without looking like an idiot.  Focusing on the goal, I find some peace and calm and bottle up the anxiety for later.  And with that, the ceremony breezes by – it is funny how fast your own wedding seems in comparison to everyone else’s.  Other weddings seem to drag on … my son is dragging a chair across the room so that he can reach the lock on the door to go outside.

The weather is nice, so we let them out back to play for a while (give us some time to relax, maybe do some writing).  Occasionally there are some shouts about sharing the swing or where it is appropriate to dig, but generally they are having a good time … 12 years prior, people were having a good time at the reception.  After my new father-in-law did wedding party introductions (many of which were padded with their role in helping set up the keg for this event) and a very good buffet meal (made by Mennonites), we got to the dancing.  Our reception was about as cheap as they come – rented tent and tables in the in-laws’ back yard, buffet catered for $8 a plate, and music a la a borrowed 50-disc changer filled with our CD collection.  We had a list of about 50 songs to play, but every time got to about 20-22 songs into programming it, it would lose everything.  So we stopped at 20 and went with requests from there on (I think that “Bobby McGee” got played about 7 times) … after about the eighth time of telling the kids not to put dirt on the slide, we decide to move on to the rest of our plans for the day (and hide the shovels).  I give my wife her anniversary gift which she is surprised by and asks me how I paid for it (she is that practical).  I whisper into my daughter’s ear to tell her mom ‘happy anniversary’ and as she does with a big smile and then her brother parrots the sentiment and they both charge in to hug my wife, I know that there is no where that I’d rather be.

After twelve years, my wife is still my best friend in the world.  And the only love I’ve every felt that compares is what I feel for my two children.  I cannot imagine my life without my family and I plan to continue to enjoy their company for decades to come.  I can only hope that this past 12 years has simply been the dawn of a beautiful era of my life.