I’m fat. No need to argue or reassure me otherwise – I have known that it is true and I have come to terms with it. I’m overweight (and under-tall, but there is little I can do about that part). But I am doing something about it. The trouble is that it is not an easy thing to fix.
I won’t make excuses about my condition – I got myself here on my own. I have no reason that I can’t exercise or eat better. I used to be skinny only about a decade ago so I know I can be. I’ve just allowed myself to adopt a fairly sedentary lifestyle and haven’t fully adjusted my eating habits to match. I’m guilty of all of the minor offenses: snacking because I’m bored, choosing less healthy things like candy bars and soda when I should be having fruit and water, and allowing minor aches and pains keep me from the activity and exercise I should be doing. The trouble is that it is surprisingly hard to change tack.
I started trying to make a concerted effort in January after me and my 3 other fat-assed officemates (they’ll admit to it) decided we needed to do something. We started a 4 month contest in our office to see who could lose the most weight (by percentage) and collected money from all the participants for the prizes. The contest was a huge success … for some other people. I only ended up losing a few pounds and my officemates pretty much stayed the same. So we went for a round 2 that is only 10 weeks long with smaller contributions (and smaller prizes) – we still have 2 1/2 weeks to go and I’m in 2nd place … at the moment (hopefully I can hold onto that or even pull ahead). But even with that, I’ve only lost about 10 pounds to gain such success. It seems my success in the contest is strongly as a result of 14 other people’s complete lack thereof.
The trouble is that it is hard to stay on track. It is easy to PLAN to do things right – “I will not snack today”, “I will go the the gym right after work”, “I will eat a healthy lunch”. But I still often find myself sitting on my couch in the evening not having made it to the gym, eating some popcorn while watching TV. And I still find myself craving fast food and unhealthy snacks and soda. Usually I make the right choice, but sometimes I give in.
My wife is also in a contest and is making good efforts to lose weight and be healthier. I suspect that she is faring better than I am as she is more determined than me in pretty much anything she cares about. But at the same time she also beats herself up more when she falters than I do. And stress level is a big factor in these things so I’m hoping that helps me a little (man, I can rationalize things). While she is not nearly as overweight as I am, I understand and support her efforts and I want her to be successful (mostly for her, but I also look forward to enjoying the fruits of her labor). I also hope that her efforts will help me keep solid in my own efforts.
I’d love to be as thin as I was in college, but that is likely a long way off. In the short term, I want to feel more healthy and be able to keep up with my kids for more than a half hour at a time. I’d like to cement some healthier eating habits so that it isn’t so hard to stay in shape. I’d also like to be a better example to my kids – how healthy can I expect them to be when they see how I take care of myself? I’d also like to get myself into a routine that doesn’t involve so much sitting and so little moving. I’m getting there … gradually. And I will get there.