Category: About Me

Unexpected Morals

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In the immortal words of Douglas Adams, “Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” I, however, have found that in some instances I have gleaned some life lessons from the actions of others (even when it seems that the others haven’t). Here are some examples:

  • For as long as can remember, my father has quested to top himself each year with his Christmas gifts for my mother – always looking to get her some new gadget or equipment that she would have never realized she always wanted. Sometimes he has succeeded, but often the hype in his head is greater than the real reaction. He has also always had a trend of uniquely labeling his gifts to her (e.g., From: XY/To: XX). To these, my mother has always had a positive reaction (even when they were bordering on inappropriate).
    Moral: Sometimes the giving is more important than the gift.
  • Both my father and my sister have always been very ‘tell it like it is’ types of people … but in slightly different ways. My dad in such that he does not sugar-coat much of anything (except perhaps in his business – he IS a salesman after all). My sister in such that should tends to be very curtly honest to the extent that she doesn’t always know what she shouldn’t likely be straight with people about. On more than one occasion this combination led to someone being offended by something that my dad probably shouldn’t have said around my sister and that my sister definitely shouldn’t have relayed on to the subject matter.
    Moral: Whenever opening your mouth, beware of feet.
  • Growing up, I saw my father primarily on the weekends. When my wife and I first were seriously dating, I ended up moving in with her and her family for a year – I didn’t see her father for the first 3 months I was there. With my dad, I know how he felt about the situation because when he was home he tried to make up for the time he wasn’t. Now I’ve got 2 kids of my own and I find myself working long hours on occasion when I’d rather be at home with them.
    Moral: If you don’t understand work-life balance, don’t expect your kids to get it either.

I can’t claim to have it all worked out – I don’t even always get these things right a lot of the time. But the foundation is there leading my intentions (and hopefully leading my actions more often than not).

Return to Form

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Obviously I’ve been a bit lax in posting lately – partially due to being on vacation last week, but also due to being busy and falling behind on such things. I am going to try to be more disciplined going forward. In truth, I owe it mostly to myself to do so (not to discredit my readership, but frankly I know that it is small and not very regular – if I’m mistaken, please let me know).

As I believe I’ve stated before, the main purpose of this blog is to act as a sort of digital journal. I post my thoughts and experiences as much for my own catharsis as for anyone else’s enjoyment. With less posts comes less release. And all work and no play … well you get the picture.

So I will try to be more vigilant and consistent in my postings. I will try to stick to my regular memes as best as I can. And I hope that you continue to enjoy my musings as much as I enjoy sharing them.

By the way, for those interested, my vacation entailed a trip to visit family in North Carolina. We spent as much time as we could relaxing in the pool. I finally caught Star Trek on the big screen with my dad (awesome reboot – looking forward to more from this cast). And the wife and I got to have a dinner without kids via a double-date with my sister – Brazilian steakhouse and nice strong drinks (good times). Thanks again to everyone for the hospitality.

Heading Unknown

SilentBen1 Comment

There once was a time I wrote poetry.
But alas, those days faded over time.

Has that spark gone away? Have I nothing to say?
Or have I just opted to stop trying to rhyme?

Maybe a haiku
They are sometimes interesting
But then perhaps not.

Now I stick mostly to puns and sarcasm as my literary devices of choice – if you say such prose is amateur, I’m really going to be hurt.

Blurbsday: Diction

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Maybe it is my age (nearly 34 – getting up there, I know).  Perhaps it is my ethnic background (I happen to be of the ruling minority – white males).  Maybe I’m a bit stuffy or stuck up (I try to be a tolerant individual), but no matter what, “Where you at?” will never be a phrase that I can picture leaving my mouth.  It is simply the epitome of improper grammar.  You don’t need to be an English scholar to find the faults, but it lacks any form of verb and ends with a preposition (last I checked those are big no-nos of basic sentence structure).

So when I got asked the previosuly noted question by a co-worker over the phone, the only thing the kept me from hanging my head and sighing was the fact that I was attempting to park my car at the time.  Upon pointing out the fault and answering the implied question, snickering from my passenger elicitsa follow-up of “Who you with?”

Day by day I make progress.  Meanwhile my 5-year-old daughter is fluidly integrating words like apparently, conveniently, and recently into her vocabulary.  So I have some points of solace.

Happy Anniversary to my Down-to-Earth Bride

SilentBen2 Comments

Rise and shine – it is the dawn of a new day!  At least the sun is technically on its way up.  I’d like to have slept later, but my 2-year-old son scrambling up the stairs to my room prevent that from happening … much like my responsibilities 12 years ago.  I had to be up at the crack of dawn to drive all the way to the church to drop off the license and stop at the soon-to-be-in-laws to drop something off for my fiancee before heading out with the guys to get our tuxes.  Upon returning to my apartment (almost all my groomsmen slept at my place), I have to practically jump on each of them to get them into gear … much as my son is now jumping on me – but only long enough to get over me and snuggle in-between my wife and I.  He is all smiles and fully recharged ready to take on the world.  We take him downstairs and get him some milk and something to eat and veg out on the couch while he watches a show with breakfast.

Later, his 5-year-old sister makes her way out of her room and downstairs to join us.  Before she reaches the bottom there are already a series of questions such as ‘What is he watching?’, ‘Did he eat breakfast yet?’, ‘Do I have school today?’.  I’m barely awake and she is already in a rush to figure out what the day is going to bring … 12 years earlier I’m rushing – rushing from the mall to make it to the church on time.  I get there and get dressed in time to greet a few people arriving early only to be nearly knocked off the sidewalk by my future in-laws pulling up barking for me to get inside as the bride is almost here (which is odd since it is at least a half-hour until the wedding is supposed to start).  So I and my second head inside and are cloistered to the priest’s office adjacent to the alter – as I jog up the aisle to get there, I notice the table in front of the alter has a tapestry hanging from it with a fish in the middle.  While waiting impatiently in the office, the weight of this day starts to hit me … now the weight of my son sitting on my chest starts to wear on my patience so I suggest some breakfast and get to making something (though mostly a mess).

After an enjoyable breakfast (with its share of distractions and escape attempts) and some much needed coffee, my wife and I start thinking about what we should do … I do – that is what I plan to say, what I’ve been waiting to say.  And now with that moment just moments away I start to clam up a bit.  As I work on focusing myself, I remind myself that I’m not afraid of the marriage – I’m looking forward to that – but the wedding.  I’m marrying my best friend and confidante.  The anxiety and fear I feel are all about going out there in front of some 100+ people and trying to make it through an hour(ish) of loosely rehearsed ritual without looking like an idiot.  Focusing on the goal, I find some peace and calm and bottle up the anxiety for later.  And with that, the ceremony breezes by – it is funny how fast your own wedding seems in comparison to everyone else’s.  Other weddings seem to drag on … my son is dragging a chair across the room so that he can reach the lock on the door to go outside.

The weather is nice, so we let them out back to play for a while (give us some time to relax, maybe do some writing).  Occasionally there are some shouts about sharing the swing or where it is appropriate to dig, but generally they are having a good time … 12 years prior, people were having a good time at the reception.  After my new father-in-law did wedding party introductions (many of which were padded with their role in helping set up the keg for this event) and a very good buffet meal (made by Mennonites), we got to the dancing.  Our reception was about as cheap as they come – rented tent and tables in the in-laws’ back yard, buffet catered for $8 a plate, and music a la a borrowed 50-disc changer filled with our CD collection.  We had a list of about 50 songs to play, but every time got to about 20-22 songs into programming it, it would lose everything.  So we stopped at 20 and went with requests from there on (I think that “Bobby McGee” got played about 7 times) … after about the eighth time of telling the kids not to put dirt on the slide, we decide to move on to the rest of our plans for the day (and hide the shovels).  I give my wife her anniversary gift which she is surprised by and asks me how I paid for it (she is that practical).  I whisper into my daughter’s ear to tell her mom ‘happy anniversary’ and as she does with a big smile and then her brother parrots the sentiment and they both charge in to hug my wife, I know that there is no where that I’d rather be.

After twelve years, my wife is still my best friend in the world.  And the only love I’ve every felt that compares is what I feel for my two children.  I cannot imagine my life without my family and I plan to continue to enjoy their company for decades to come.  I can only hope that this past 12 years has simply been the dawn of a beautiful era of my life.