Category: parenthood

Pudding Wars

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You know that you’ve spent too much time fighting to get your kids to eat when you are arguing with them to eat their dessert.  That seems to be the position I found myself last night with my son over a bowl of lemon pudding.  We had made an instant box of it and divvied it up 4 ways evenly.  My daughter, my wife and I ate ours up pretty swiftly (it IS pudding – there isn’t really any chewing and what’s not to like), but my son seemed to eat about half of his and then proceeded to engage in one of his favorite past times – jumping on and dismantling the couch.

I only pushed him on the pudding to get a sense of whether he was even interested in finishing it – not to force it on him (the less sugar the better, really).  But he was too busy bouncing around to pay any attention to the line of questioning.  So I finally put it such that if he doesn’t want the rest, someone else would gladly finish it for him – to which my 5-year-old daughter responds “I’d like to volunteer to be that person.” I swear that not a week goes by that she doesn’t surprise me with some new word or phrase that she has seamlessly integrated into her vocabulary.

The Blues

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I shouldn’t find this all that new and surprising – these phases are normal.  But I don’t remember it being so over-powerfing when it happened a few years ago when I daughter was about 2.  With young kids running circles around you, it is hard to fight these things and there is little point in trying to hide it – I have the blues.  By this I mean the Blue’s Clues blues.

My daughter went through a phase where it was her favorite show.  It is a pretty clever show, and unlike some others geared towards that age bracket, it is easy to watch with the kids.  So I often would watch it with her.  Now that my son is 2 1/2 and developing his own preferences, he has discovered a love for Blue and her pals.  And in the process my wife, my daughter and I are getting reacquainted.

My son delights in the show.  He sings along with every song.  He imitates everything that Steve or Joe do.  And even when he isn’t watching it, he references it in most things he does from skidoo-ing out of the car to the sidewalk to pretending an old greeting card is ‘a letter from our friends’.  And I think that to some extent it has been encouraging him to be more polite in the things he does.

My daughter and I have used it as a point of conversation.  We’ve discussed the relationship and pseudo-drama of the Steve-Joe switch (she has decided that she likes Joe better – I had felt that way before, but I’ve been gaining new-found respect for Steve).  We’ve reveled in noticing the artistic minutia that is peppered in there for the non-target audience (such as the ever-changing artwork in the living room).  And I’ve also used it as a platform to help her understand animation and entertainment in general (separating the characters from the reality).

My wife and I try not to over-expose the kids to these things – we know that they should have limits to the amount of TV they watch.  But when they wake at 7AM every morning and can’t keep from being under-toe at every meal preparation, it is a crutch that is easy to lean on to give us the space or rest that we need to be sane enough to keep up with them the rest of the time.

What is funny about the show is how well it works and how well it will likely continue to work for years to come.  The show is now over ten years old and has not aired a new episode in several years.  And yet it still remains in Noggin’s heavy program rotation.  I also recently saw a 10-year behind the clues special that revealed some interesting factoids about the show and its origins (e.g., the show’s original design was to be a game-show for toddlers, Blue was initially a cat, Mr. Salt was supposed to have a Brooklyn accent but it somehow got shifted to French).

So at 33, I’m still learning a few new tricks from a not-so-young puppy – and bonding with my kids at the same time (you can bond over a show – it counts, I looked it up).  Without a doubt, I once again have the Blue’s Clues blues … and it makes me smile.

Friday 5: From the Mouths of Babes

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Kids can say surprising things – from hilarious to awe-inspiring.  Here are a few recent gems from my clan:

  1. From 5yo daughter – “Wouldn’t it be cool if dogs could talk – not just communicate, but talk like people do?”
  2. From 2yo son regarding a nearby pet store with a paw print logo – “Let’s go to Blue’s Clues store.”
  3. From 5yo while walking in a stream and talking about the animals that live in the stream under the rocks – “So am I squishing all their houses right now?”
  4. My wife recently had another MRSA-infected cut so we had to go through decontamination.  While swabbing my daughter’s nostrils with an antibiotic salve, my son pipes up “I want white boogers, too!”
  5. From daughter – “Mommy, I love you ten.  But Daddy, I love you eleven.”  (she has always been a daddy’s girl)

Happy Anniversary to my Down-to-Earth Bride

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Rise and shine – it is the dawn of a new day!  At least the sun is technically on its way up.  I’d like to have slept later, but my 2-year-old son scrambling up the stairs to my room prevent that from happening … much like my responsibilities 12 years ago.  I had to be up at the crack of dawn to drive all the way to the church to drop off the license and stop at the soon-to-be-in-laws to drop something off for my fiancee before heading out with the guys to get our tuxes.  Upon returning to my apartment (almost all my groomsmen slept at my place), I have to practically jump on each of them to get them into gear … much as my son is now jumping on me – but only long enough to get over me and snuggle in-between my wife and I.  He is all smiles and fully recharged ready to take on the world.  We take him downstairs and get him some milk and something to eat and veg out on the couch while he watches a show with breakfast.

Later, his 5-year-old sister makes her way out of her room and downstairs to join us.  Before she reaches the bottom there are already a series of questions such as ‘What is he watching?’, ‘Did he eat breakfast yet?’, ‘Do I have school today?’.  I’m barely awake and she is already in a rush to figure out what the day is going to bring … 12 years earlier I’m rushing – rushing from the mall to make it to the church on time.  I get there and get dressed in time to greet a few people arriving early only to be nearly knocked off the sidewalk by my future in-laws pulling up barking for me to get inside as the bride is almost here (which is odd since it is at least a half-hour until the wedding is supposed to start).  So I and my second head inside and are cloistered to the priest’s office adjacent to the alter – as I jog up the aisle to get there, I notice the table in front of the alter has a tapestry hanging from it with a fish in the middle.  While waiting impatiently in the office, the weight of this day starts to hit me … now the weight of my son sitting on my chest starts to wear on my patience so I suggest some breakfast and get to making something (though mostly a mess).

After an enjoyable breakfast (with its share of distractions and escape attempts) and some much needed coffee, my wife and I start thinking about what we should do … I do – that is what I plan to say, what I’ve been waiting to say.  And now with that moment just moments away I start to clam up a bit.  As I work on focusing myself, I remind myself that I’m not afraid of the marriage – I’m looking forward to that – but the wedding.  I’m marrying my best friend and confidante.  The anxiety and fear I feel are all about going out there in front of some 100+ people and trying to make it through an hour(ish) of loosely rehearsed ritual without looking like an idiot.  Focusing on the goal, I find some peace and calm and bottle up the anxiety for later.  And with that, the ceremony breezes by – it is funny how fast your own wedding seems in comparison to everyone else’s.  Other weddings seem to drag on … my son is dragging a chair across the room so that he can reach the lock on the door to go outside.

The weather is nice, so we let them out back to play for a while (give us some time to relax, maybe do some writing).  Occasionally there are some shouts about sharing the swing or where it is appropriate to dig, but generally they are having a good time … 12 years prior, people were having a good time at the reception.  After my new father-in-law did wedding party introductions (many of which were padded with their role in helping set up the keg for this event) and a very good buffet meal (made by Mennonites), we got to the dancing.  Our reception was about as cheap as they come – rented tent and tables in the in-laws’ back yard, buffet catered for $8 a plate, and music a la a borrowed 50-disc changer filled with our CD collection.  We had a list of about 50 songs to play, but every time got to about 20-22 songs into programming it, it would lose everything.  So we stopped at 20 and went with requests from there on (I think that “Bobby McGee” got played about 7 times) … after about the eighth time of telling the kids not to put dirt on the slide, we decide to move on to the rest of our plans for the day (and hide the shovels).  I give my wife her anniversary gift which she is surprised by and asks me how I paid for it (she is that practical).  I whisper into my daughter’s ear to tell her mom ‘happy anniversary’ and as she does with a big smile and then her brother parrots the sentiment and they both charge in to hug my wife, I know that there is no where that I’d rather be.

After twelve years, my wife is still my best friend in the world.  And the only love I’ve every felt that compares is what I feel for my two children.  I cannot imagine my life without my family and I plan to continue to enjoy their company for decades to come.  I can only hope that this past 12 years has simply been the dawn of a beautiful era of my life.

Mr. Mom

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I apologize to those few readers I have for my sporadic and infrequent posting as of late.  For much of my recent absence, the issue has mostly been that I’ve been busy with work and too drained at the end of the day to sit and write something.  But for the past week I’ve had a more serious excuse for my lack of presence – My wife was checked into the hospital on Tuesday for a bad staph infection in her knee that turned out to be MRSA. Read more “Mr. Mom”